Nineteen
by Hukuwa
Summary: -Selfshipping- Haou and Judai meet and the last thing they expect is being so atracted one to the other and feeling their life more complete than before. -Inspired by Tegan & Sara's song-


**Fear not, for I still write KHR! This YGO! oneshots are just to fill my block and fangril needs.  
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**Series**: Yu-Gi-Oh!GX

**Rating:** M for mentions of sex and limes...pretty explicit limes.

**Pairing:** Selfshipping(HaouxJudai), some Darkspiritshipping(Hell!JohanxHaou)

**Genre:** Romance/A bit Dramatic...

**Status:** Complete-OneShot

**Author:** Shirasu

**Final**** (annoying) notes:** AU & based outta Tegan and Sara's song by the same name. I don't know, it just felt so perfect. Also somewhat inspired by chapter 5 of _'Kimi Note'_ by Junko. Lemon, blah, failed drama, blah, _might_ be OOC and use of japanese names. Fanfiction is evil I'll have to add hell lotz of linebreaks, and I had it so nicely done on word TAT

**Disclaimer:** Unless I suddenly turn into a middle-aged japanese man with awesome art skills named Kazuki Takahashi, I don't own. And I'm pretty sure I'm a girl.

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><p>It was pretty stupid to be a teenager and suddenly try to socialize with your life-time neighbors, at least that was what Yuki Judai thought as he walked to the next apartment next to his. Well, it wasn't that bad, he knew that there was a boy close to his age living there, although they'd just seen each other two times.<p>

He knocked on the door with enough force to be heard and waited to see if there were signs of life. Judai was starting to feel a bit anxious, and he hadn't even seen if the door was going to be answered. His legs started to feel weak, but the attributed that to the fact that he had never talked to this guy. _'Just calm down, Judai; you're over thinking it! Maybe you'll meet him and you'll become really good friends with him!'_ He tried to tell himself but his heart raced a bit.

The door opened a few seconds after knocking and Judai's eyes poped open as a splitting image of him appeared in front of him. The boy inside the house looked at him with a glare, his golden eyes shining brightly. He wore black pants and a black formal shirt and his brown hair adorned his face, giving him a dark look around the eyes. "What?" He asked in a cold voice.

"Uhm..." Judai mumbled amazed by his unmet neighbor. "I...um...hi...?"

"Hello." The teen replied. "What do you want?"

Judai smiled nervously. "Um, my name's Yuki Judai, uh...nice to meet you." He stammered and offered his hand. "I'm your neighbor."

"Yes, I know who you are." The un-named teen replied, without shaking the hand and leaning against the door frame. "Why do you suddenly want to meet me?"

The brunet froze in the spot. "I don't know, I just did. Can I at least know your name?" He asked in hopes they could still be friends. _'Why am I still here? I should go back to my house since he's not friendly.'_

"Haou." He replied after a minute of silence. Judai raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going to give you my last name, Yuki."

The two brunets stood in silence; Haou looked at Judai with the same cold gaze and Judai was starting to think his shoes were oddly interesting. "It was nice to meet you." Judai broke the silence and bowed before returning to his apartment.

Definitely, Haou wasn't social-type.

* * *

><p>And yet, even after that stiff encounter, Haou and Judai saw each other. Well, if you could say that..., the two teens crossed glances and shared small conversations but nothing to deep. Haou said once he was mature enough to act like an adult and life wasn't as we saw it, while Judai acted as any teenager, although he did have him mature times.<p>

Haou reminiscence about how the hell Judai could be so happy and positive most of the time, while he was an objective person who well, also had a sadistic side. Not the best combination of people, right?

And yet, every time they talked, even if it were about the weather, they would spend lots of time talking, and they were both sure, that the other knew the balance they gave to each other. They were like darkness and light, day and night, positive and negative, objective and subjective. But they still got on each other's nerves big time. They were tempted to hit the other in the head because of their childish ideas. So far, Judai didn't really know that much about Haou, except he was the same age as him(seventeen), he was only child, his parents worked complete shifts, and his...um...closest friend was a pervert. And Haou knew the same things about Judai; his age, he was only child, parents working double shifts, he had a cat called Neos, (pretty odd name if you asked Haou), and his best friend had a liking for rainbows.

Slowly their encounters had turned into a somehow friendship-relationship. Of course, they weren't _best friends_ or _beffies, _but they had progressed into them having more to do than just tolerance. Judai usually went to Haou's house in the afternoons and spent their times chatting or playing card games. It had felt odd at first, Haou remembered, the fact that Judai had been okay with him being sadistic.

They were the mirror of each other, and it was a small thought that crossed their mind at times, that maybe they had been separated at birth. Judai brought his cat over at times and the cat played or slept with Haou's cat, named Kuri. Even after the fact that they shared likes, they were still opposites; and Judai would sometimes asked himself if their friendship would last. Specially since their friendship had progressed into more, or at least Judai thought.

_**Toc Toc**_

No answer.

_'Odd.' _Yuki thought before knocking again. _'Is he even there? He always opens when I knock.'_ And again he knocked. The door slid open slightly, showing it was open, so Haou had to be there. "Haou?" He peeked inside.

There was a muffled sound coming from the living room, and Judai began to worry. _'Is he okay?' _ He walked deeper inside the apartment and then he froze. No sound came out of his mouth, he...he...

Haou laid there on the floor, naked, panting heavily with sweat covering his pale complexion as a mysterious bluenet pulled his legs farther apart and penetrated him deeply. Haou's breathed hitched in that second, wincing at the pain.

"Calm down, Haou-_chan_," The other whispered as he rammed back into the brunet, "You'll like this."

Judai's eyes trembled in a mix of emotions; shock, fright, and even lust crossed his mind. He tried to leave quietly at the second he had seen that, but he'd ran away quickly and gotten the attention of the two males in intercourse.

"My, we've been spotted~"

"Ah...shut up, Joha-ah!" The brunet's words and thoughts about Judai's wellbeing were interrupted as he was thrusted in.

Judai shook madly in his room, crying without near stop. Why...why...had he seen that? Why was he feeling like this? _'Oh god,' _It was sick, and the image of Haou panting hadn't left his mind; it was still clear. Haou...he...himself...he sobbed more, feeling miserable about his whole being. Haou...he was never going to be his, not after what he'd seen...why? Why hadn't he told him he was with someone, at least that way he wouldn't have gotten his hopes high.

His useless hopes. It was all useless now. _'I can't believe...' _He shuddered before breaking into more cries.

_**Toc Toc**_

Haou knocked on his neighbor's door, wearing the same black clothes as always. Judai had to be there, he hadn't left his house and it had been a week ever since the incident. "Judai, I know you're there." He called but got no answer. "Yuki, come out and face me, I need to speak to you." Over the door he distinguished the faint meow of a cat, meaning Neos was hungry and asking Judai for food. "Judai,...come out, I'm sorry for what you saw. "He gulped.

The door opened slightly, and Judai's frame came to sight. "Yes?" His voice was dry and the chocolate eyes looked turned down. "What is there to talk about?"

Haou interrupted him, however. "I'm sorry for what you had to see, Johan he...he took advantage of me, but don't...worry, I already sent him away."

"Oh, so you do that to everyone? You send them away?" The other asked in a cold voice. His defensive barriers didn't allow Haou to see that Judai was still shaken up, and even more to hear that someone had taken advantage over him.

"No," Haou glared, offended by Judai's words. "That wasn't meant to happen, you get it?" He said in a dead serious tone. "I can't believe I came here to apologize and you treat me like this, good-bye then." He turned around to leave, but was stopped.

"Wait!" Judai called, grabbing his hand to stop Haou from leaving. "I...I'm sorry, I was just shaken up, okay? I didn't mean to say that...I just..." He stopped, trying to find the words to say.

"I get it." Haou said then, showing off a rare smile. "I'm glad we...talked, if you can call it that, and...I hope we can continue-"

"-being friends?" Judai ended the question, rubbing his eyes, which were starting to get puffy. "I hope so too."

Both males waved good bye at each other before entering back to their apartments.

* * *

><p>"Judai, would you like to go out?" Haou asked two years later, his golden eyes staring directly at mentioned boy.<p>

He blinked, confused. Judai's mouth agape. "Eh?" The question was taken by surprise in all means, after all they were just lying there and...

"I asked if you wanted to go out with me." Haou repeated, half-glaring at Judai. "I mean it, Yuki." He added and stretched his hand.

"...Really?" The brunet raised himself, still confused and somewhat scared this was a joke; after all this were sadistic Haou they were talking about.

"Do I look as a joke?" Haou glared, rising too. "Yes or no. I'm risking my integrity just by asking you, so I should get an answer."

Judai's heart raised, this wasn't a joke right? "As...as in a date, right?"

"Of course, idiot." Haou rolled his eyes and raised his extended hand.

"Yeah," Judai smiled broadly, taking the hand.

* * *

><p>"Haou," Judai exhaled as Haou continued to pleasure his body, nipping the sensitive spots on the neck, giving nice dark marks on his lover's body. "Ah!" The brunet curled his feet in pleasure, god damn it...Haou was so...good at this.<p>

The other brunet continued to suck, passing his tongue over the nipples and taking one in his mouth and rubbing the other against his long fingers. He sucked and pulled on the sensitive blood and yet he was careful enough not to draw blood. "Judai," He whispered when he stopped his job on the chest, "you know what comes next, right?"

Judai nodded still a bit hazy-eyed. "Don't worry..." He panted, feeling his pants awfully tight. And deep inside him, he knew that Haou felt the same,

"Okay then," The normally stoic boy chuckled darkly and pulled his reflection's pants and undergarments down in one pull; leaving that glorious naked body under him. As Judai tried to cover himself, Haou stopped him and grabbed him by the wrists. "Don't."

"Bu-" Yuki's protests were interrupted by Haou kissing him passionately on the lips, introducing the tongue without asking. Judai moaned into the kiss, arching his back to find that familiar warmth that allured him. He broke it, however when the unexpected feeling of two fingers prodding his entrance was felt. "Ah-hh,wha-nngh!" It hurt, it hurt, it was so uncomfortable and then a third finger entered..."No-ahh!" His eyes filled with painful tears that held lust at the same time.

"Relax, you know what comes next," Haou tried to calm and continued to finger the figure under him.

**(I'll leave to your imagination what happens next~)**

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><p>The brunet waited until the door of the apartment opened. "Hey, we need to talk." Haou said, moving back so that Judai could come out.<p>

"What's wrong?"

The stoic brunet bit his lip and shifted his golden eyes to the side. "I need to leave." He said without any emotion. "I'm going to go to study in America. Bye." Haou looked down and raised his sight so that his eyes met with Judai. "I guess this wasn't meant to be."

And with that, he left.

**4 years later...**

"Aniki, are you returning to your town?" A bluenet asked.

Yuki Judai, now twenty-three looked at his friend Shou Marufuji.

"Yes, just for the vacation though, don't worry."

"Okay, so, why are you returning? You hadn't been there in all these four years."

"I guess that's the reason. I studied there my first university year and then moved here, so...I just miss it."

"Well, good luck then."

Judai sighed and he returned to his old house. It hadn't been a surprise that his fathers were still working, so he just went to him old room, turned on the lights, and looked at the untouched room. So many memories filled his head...specially that one. _'Haou,' _His heart stopped for a second, feeling the tightness of a love that had hurt him. _'No, no, no; Judai, you have to forget him! He's gone.'_

Deciding it was the best for him to forget the memories; he got out of the room and threw himself on the couch to watch TV. He shouldn't have gotten all shaken up, after all, he knew Haou wasn't going to do anything involving him; he'd just get thrown away. And still, even after telling himself that it was okay for four years, Judai found himself shredding a tear for his once lover.

"Idiot," He cursed, cleaning the brimming tears. His heart beat quickly and his legs had gotten weak again, just like when he'd first seen him. It was just to stupid to cry for a love, he was better than this, Haou wasn't worth of his tears, Haou hadn't even been a special person in his life, Haou-...The tears started flowing again and he hated it. He wasn't some school girl to get like this over something stupid! He was better than this; he needed to get over it. He wasn't going to allow the ghost of that memory to walk besides him for all his life. _'It was in the past,'_ he breathed out, calming himself, _'it was a good-bye, it didn't work, get over it.' _Judai was going to give a fresh start here, past was past, future waited for him.

"I need to get out, maybe seeing my friends will help, after all I didn't even tell them I was returning for vacation." The brunet chuckled and got up, ready to leave. "I'll be back, Neos. Wish me luck." He told the old cat as he left the house.

"Hello." He heard a familiar voice call in the moment he closed the door.

He froze. _'Haou...!' _No, this couldn't be, he told himself, but he knew that Haou was there and it wasn't a product of his broken heart. "Hello." He managed to reply. "What do you want?"

Haou shrugged, still as stoic as ever. His golden eyes seemed unaffected, though they did avoid contact. "Nothing." The years hadn't changed him; he still had that same look and even wore the same black clothes. "I just wanted to check on you. I heard you are studying in Osaka."

"Yes, so?" Judai asked, still in a controlled tone voice. He clenched his fists, feeling rage, sadness, and tears inside him. "What do you want then?" He wasn't going to cry, he was mature enough to handle this. "If you want to see me, then I'm sorry but I have no intentions of returning to interact with you."

There was a moment of silence. "Oh, well. Good-bye." Haou said softly, letting a something-what-smile.

That was it? Judai watched as Haou left to the apartment besides him. That had been? He wasn't going to apologize at all? Now even a small 'I'm sorry'? "That's it?" He called out loud, making Haou stop. "You're just going to do that and walk away again? Did you ever consider how I felt? How I was supposed to feel when you felt and were practically all I had?" The golden eyed turned around, not talking just being there. "I can't believe it, when I first met you I thought you were going to be something else than the cold hearted bastard you are, but it seems I was wrong!" Tears had started brimming and weren't going to stop. _'No, I am not going to cry! I'm better than to let someone tears.' _But all the emotions that had been bottled up these four years were at last set free and they were exploding. "WHY DID YOU EVEN TELL ME YOU WERE LEAVING? I could have managed just okay with you throwing me away like you did to that other guy."

Haou waited until Judai stopped speaking; he walked over and reached to touch Judai's cheek, just to be shaken away. "You deserved better." He said simply. "You said it yourself, I am a cold-hearted- bastard that enjoys seeing you suffer, did you ever consider that? You were so stupid to be around me when I cannot feel anything close to the affection you feel towards me; our affection is different, I want you in a way that hurts." Brown eyes met golden for a second.

"Then why did you even asked me out?"

Haou placed his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Spur of the moment," He asked with honesty. "I wasn't suspecting you'd put up with me."

"I thought you were better than that, Haou." Judai admitted, not moving from his place. "Even getting me to have sex with you and then getting all depressed and leaving me? What happened to the Haou I met?"

"Who said I felt depressed?" He interrupted. "I'm just saying the truth; I don't have to be ashamed." His eyes glared. "You're doing just fine in Osaka."

"I still miss the two of us hanging together." Judai admitted in a whisper. "It was good seeing you." He bowed and turned around to leave when,

"You still love me, don't you?" Haou asked loudly, making Judai freeze. "Admit it, I can see it in your eyes."

Judai looked at him. "What do you feel towards me?" He asked back, giving a serious look. "Tell me. Don't hide anything, you said it yourself, out attraction was different."

"Our ways of attraction are different, what we feel isn't." Haou replied simply. "You know it."

"Tch," His hands clenched again. How could Haou read him? And how could he be so pathetic to still love him? "What now, eh? If you say we feel the same then there should be an answer."

_Love you,_

_Love me_

"I don't know." The brunet said. "Time will tell."

"For now I don't want to see you." Judai interrupted and turned around and left. "Just call it off."

"Time will tell," Haou agreed as he turned around and walked to his apartment.

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><p>"Should we try?"<p>

Twenty-five year old Haou looked up. A smirk then adorned his face. "You really want to?"

"It's been six years since we were nineteen." The brunet commented and sat down besides Haou on the grass. "You still want?"

A chuckle. "The attraction hasn't changed." Haou said and closed his eyes. "Idiotic Yuki,"

Judai raised an eyebrow. "Cold hearted bastard." The brunet took Haou's hands and closed his eyes.

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><p><strong>WARNING: Mushy ending.<strong>

**;w; Holly crap on a stick, I loved writing this story. Idk, it just motivated me so much and...adffg I don't care if it's OOC, I LOVED how it turned out~! Tegan and Sara's songs are so perfect, I mean it. Did you hear 'Nineteen'? I also included reference to others songs LOL. Okay, stop the stupidness.**

**Read and Review, honeys!**

**-Shirasu**


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